‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder’. A statement that I used to constantly say to myself to make myself feel like no matter the negative things I think of myself, hopefully on day someone will see the beauty in me.
It didn’t help that the person that I thoguht was ment to behold my beauty was the same person putting me down on a daily basis. “I could have been with any girl, but I chose you”, or “Do you think anyone else wanted you, now that you have my baby no one will want you”. That’s just a sample of the things I would hear on a daily basis. These small statements snowballed, plus other events and led to a suicide attempt (but that’s a story for another day). Thankfully I’m out of that situation and I’ve learnt that I need to see the beauty in myself first before anyone can see the beauty in me.
For many years I’ve been insecure about my body weight and how I looked. A few months ago I had the privilege of singing with a group of wonderful people; it was an amazing time of praise and worship. The following day someone sent a video of a bit of the night, and all I could see was myself (though there were other people in the video), I found myself critiquing how I looked, how I’m dressed, everything.
Then the holy spirit started on me, “aren’t you wonderfully and fearfully made?”, yeah, I am but look at me, people must have thought I looked stupid, “but who was the praise for? Me (God) or the people watching?” In that moment I was able to release my frustration because I know that everything I had done was to please God, and know/hope that He (God) is pleased with my sacrifice.
It’s a constant daily battle to be able to see the beauty in yourself, and accept yourself for who you are. The world says that our beauty is based on the standards of the media and everyone else but ourselves.
Ignore the external voices and listen to the spirit of God in you that tells you that you are wonderfully and fearfully made. Psalms 139:14
“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvellous are your works, and that my soul knows very well” (NKJV)
This scripture says so much more than you are beautiful, it empasises that “my soul knows vey well”. This makes it obvious that your body needs to connect with your soul, to display and reflect that which your soul already knows.
To really see your beauty you must look through the eyes of God. He made you wonderfully and fearfully, and through His eyes we are nothing but wonderful.